Yesterday morning I was up at my usual 3:30 AM to accomplish 17 miles. Honestly, I was feeling a bit discouraged about my running, in general, and decided to postpone the run until today. Chasen and I intended to drive up to the northern part of the state and tour Blanchard Springs Caverns, and I did not want to be sore and "broken down" for that. Mostly, though, I was feeling bad about my running. Why am I not yet at superstar status???
Here are some photos that I took inside the caverns:
We got home after 10 PM. As such, I decided to "sleep in" until 5 AM. I was feeling much better about the running this morning. So I set out to do a big 17-mile loop.Mind you, the reason I am so discouraged about the running is that I can't seem to run a 12-minute mile to save my life. I guess I thought I'd just magically be fast this year and not have to "work" for it. Or maybe I thought my zillion miles of training each week would somehow make me more efficient. Thus far, not so much...
So, I decided to make the first 5 miles about the speed. After that I intended to be a zen runner and not even look at the Garmin. Yea right.
In order to boost my confidence and be speedy, I allowed myself to step after each mile for a breather. Again, probably not the best idea for a LONGRUN, but sometimes a girl's gotta do whatever it takes to boost the ole confidence. I did the first 5 miles at 12:09, 12:18, 12:06, 12:05, 11:31. After that I took a big breather. Then I turned my Garmin downward and headed out for another 5. I also thought that making my goal shorter/smaller might make the miles a bit better, at least in my mind. The Garmin didn't stay down for long (after all, how could I press stop so often with it facing downward? Bad me...) The second 5 were: 12:27, 11:27, 11:42, 10:59, 11:19.
Here's where it got interesting. By this point I was feeling starved. My tank was on "E". I still have not gotten my act together and purchased proper supplies to avoid this. You'd think someone who has trained for a marathon before would have her wits about her. Not just yet...
Shortly before mile 10 I called home and told Chasen that I was starving and where to meet me. I decided to take a break and eat. So we went to a drive-thru (not the best, but I made due with my options). He had a puzzled look and asked me in the nicest way possible "What's wrong with your running?" He pointed out that last year I never 'quit' no matter what; I'd just be super slow and get it done. Well, two things: a) I now know the repercussions of running on "E," and b) I was merely taking a break. Not that I wanted to... but I feel like I am really screwing up. So we came home and ate. I thought to myself "I can't have my own husband thinking I am a quitter." And I did not want to postpone the miles until later, even though my body was aching. So I asked if he would go with me to the track and count my laps (I still needed to do 7 miles - 28 laps). He obliged, and he put on his running gear and off we went. He said he was wide asleep. HA!
So we got to the track and it was hot hot hot. I did about 2 miles and then decided to switch to the park across the street. There is an organic-shaped track over there. I got to mile 2.5 over there and didn't think I could go on. I just hurt everywhere. Poor Chasen had to massage my legs, just like last year in the worst of training times. I then ran another .25 and he went into coach mode and told me that I could do it, it wouldn't take much longer, etc. He was right. I made it to 3.0 and we went back to the track. Change of scenery strengthens muscles, right? :)
I got to 4.0 with major pain. I was 3 miles away from my goal. I got to 4.5 and proclaimed that I'd had it and let's go home. He said "Really?" and gave me a look. "YES," I said. But as we were heading to the truck I thought of having to post a .50 - and you know I'm anal - so I forced myself to go another .50 to make a nice, even 5 miles more. They were: 11:31, 11:27, 11:36, 11:40, 12:07.
We got home and collapsed on the floor. Both of us (he ran a ton and did football drills while I was crawling around the track). The next thing I knew we had been napping for about an hour. At that point I picked myself up and vowed to do the final 2 miles around my neighborhood. Surely I could do that. And I did: 12:52, 12:43.
What an awful day of running! It took from 5:45 AM to 1:00 PM to accomplish 17 miles (counting breaks and naps). Yuck. I told Chasen that I knew one thing for sure: It is going to get better. He said it would because I thought it would. I asked "How on earth did I run that marathon earlier this year? He said "Months of training and lot of heart." Well I am 7 weeks into my training and going through the "this hurts really badly" stage. I recall this from last time... but as I said, I guess I thought I'd be superwoman this go-round. Aargh - where is my red cape?
8 comments:
Sometimes it's just not in you. And that's okay. It really is. The heat doesn't help and life happens.
I'm proud of you for getting it done under any means. You should be proud of yourself too!
Don't be so hard on yourself.
By the way, the caverns look awesome!
Thanks for sharing with us.
You got 'er done, no matter what the circumstances. What a nice boost from your husband! I'm glad you enjoyed the caverns. Part of the reason we run is so that the rest of our life becomes better and you made the right choice to delay the run in order to enjoy the weekend, as well as getting in your long run.
OH Susan - sometimes this is how it goes. For everyone. Believe me. And I know all about expecting that magical improvement because you've done everything you should have done - and more - and then it doesn't seem to happen. All I can say is that if you persevere - and my goodness do you persevere! - you WILL reap the rewards. So much of our training is mental, and dealing with the naysayer within the brain and you are tackling this head on. I am incredibly impressed with your determination and ability to get up in the night - because what you do can NOT be called early rising - and get your runs in but honey - you have a lot on your plate with a full-time job as well so cut yourself some slack. It WILL be worth it. I promise. We are with you all the way - and your husband is amazing, I can't believe how supportive he is. You are actually doing great. Keep your spirits up girl!
Awesome cavern photos!
And I would say any time you complete a long run, no matter how long it takes you, is a good running day. I am glad your husband was so supportive. You are tougher this time around, whether you realize it or not. It's just that the marathon training is never easy.
I feel the same way you do sometimes, but Petra said it best...persevere. You got the run in even though it didn't feel right, it hurt, you were tired, hungry, sore. Still...you did it. So, I would say, you have arrived. I mean, being a runner is about that very thing. It's about putting it all out there even when you don't think you have it in you. Believe me Susan, you have it in you.
Great pics!
I'm sooo amazed by your perseverance! It's not easy to wake up so early and get your training in. Where most people would give in the first time out, you stuck it out and trucked on! I'm so proud of you for doing that! Please don't be so discouraged. You have no idea how much inspiration you give me to read about your runs.
I continue to be amazed at how you can get up at 3:30 am to run! And you were super woman, cape and all, the way you persisted in getting it done when every part of you was screaming to stop. I don't know if you remember - but this is another important part of the marathon training - training our brains to keep going when our bodies are done! And you came through with flying colors!
And look at those times with splits under 12 min miles!
Coming from another "training for a second marathon" person, I think I know how you feel. You expect that this will be easier because you have done it before, yet sometimes it seems even harder - and it is harder for different reasons. The same perseverance applies.
Take pride in getting that run done! The speed will come :-)
Some people would have quit after 5 miles or maybe even 10 miles, but you did make it!
The red cape doesn't make all the uniform... you also need the red and blue tights... I think Chasen would like that... wink wink nudge nudge
Don't forget that you are still building endurance! It's still going to be a little bit of time but it will come... You are starting to hit that resistance level in your training, you'll break through it and it will become your support level!
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